FGIE - Fat guy in Equestria
by Heroless SideKick
Summary: Try being two-hundred and thirty pounds and living in a world were the most complex vehicle in existence is a steam train. It's not fun, but it's just the tip of the iceberg for Sidney Wilson when he's plopped right into Equestria.
1. Crashing

The door to a small home on some off the main road street opened as a rather large form entered huffing and puffing slightly. The form popped off it's sandals next to the door, making a note to get some new ones as these were starting to get worn out from constant use. It passed right by the little hovel kitchen, having just gotten back from the small burger joint it went to every saturday. It dropped a phone, wallet, and keys into a small basket that was kept on a little table next to a bedroom door, entering said room. Passing everything else in the room it went straight for the office chair that sat in front of a computer desk with many knick-knacks decorating it, the most prominent thing being a diploma with the name Sidney Wilson written on it in cursive.

"*Phew* I shouldn't feel this winded, I really need to walk more." Sidney said as he sat down, turning on his computer and letting the light from the monitor help illuminate the slowly darkening room as the day turned to evening.

"I don't want to end up riding around in that scooter all the time, or I'll be the next poster boy for the typical 'Murican. Heh."

The scooter he was referring to was a small moped he had out front. He bought it over a car just because it was easier to use and take care of, plus it cost next to nothing to fill it up. Though for closer places he liked to walk instead. His health was always a constant on his mind, despite what one would think should they meet him. He couldn't help it, he liked food.

"Ugh, why is it that whenever windows has an update it takes a gazillion freaking years to download and install?" He said has he got back out the chair he just got in and walked to the kitchen. Going over to the fridge he opened it up, grabbed a mountain dew and headed back to his room. This was part of his weight problem, instead of big meals or extreme laziness he tended to snack all throughout the day. He couldn't even eat that big of a meal if he wanted, his belly bigger than his actual stomach.

Back in his room he opened the soda and plopped back into his seat, seeing that the update was half way done. With nothing to really do at the moment he just sat there thinking as it finished, sipping on the dew.

"Maybe I can start walking over to that park everyday...But what would I even do? Just walk around the whole thing maybe. Wouldn't really be much exercise though. Maybe I can get one of those stair stepper things. Could walk for as long as I wanted and not have a worry in the world. Then again that would make me even more of a recluse if I didn't even have to go outside to exercise."

He had picked up the habit of talking to himself about a month after he had moved to the new house. Made the house feel just that tiniest bit more alive than when it was silent.

"I need to do something, don't want to hear from Eli about getting more active again. Only so many times a man can handle being given a speech about being physically fit before he goes off the deep end."

Elizabeth was his younger (by one year as she liked to constantly remind him, which got him to wonder about his parents life choices) sister and a complete health nut. She doesn't shove her health ways down peoples throat thankfully, but as her tubby older brother he typically got the full lecture about how an active lifestyle and a good diet are quote, "One of the, if not THE most important things ever!". It always bothered her how his weight nor his eating habits never seemed to impact him negativity in any major way. He smiled at one particular memory that came to him.

* * *

"Are you kidding me?! *Huff* "

"What's *Huff* the problem? You won! *Huff*"

A seventeen year old Sidney and a sixteen year old Eli had just finished a little race, and despite being the winner Eli was furious.

"What's the problem?! The problem it that this was supposed to show just how unfit you are and that you should be eating better. YOU KEPT UP WITH ME NEARLY THE ENTIRE TIME!"

"Oh for the love of-*Huff*I already know I'm supposed to eat better, but there are somethings that I'm just not willing to give up! And besides, if you won doesn't that mean you've proved your point anyway?"

"If I had left you in the dust a heavy breathing, sweaty mess than yes, but instead you nearly won!"

"Just because I kept up doesn't mean I'm not a heavy breathing sweaty mess..." He mumbled under his breath, wiping his forehead.

Ignoring what he said Eli walked up and got right in his face.

"I RUN TRACK. There is no way you should have been able to keep up with me as long as you did."

Sidney grind.

"Maybe you're just slow. Should probably hang up the running shoes and trade them in for a walker."

Eli's face was red before from the race, but now it looked like a ripe chili pepper.

"I'LL SHOW YOU SLOW!"

* * *

Laughing as he reminisced Sidney was brought back to reality by the windows startup sound. Seeing that the computer was finally done updating he put his drink down and put his password in. As soon as his desktop came on he got to work.

He had managed to make a living off of just commissions alone for a broad range of areas. Using the name Jack the Trader online (An oh so clever play on words of a jack of all trades) he always had a project to work on. While a professional by no means he had a good bit of experience in art, song writing, stories and photography. He offered all these services on a large amount of websites, taking any thing he was given, small and big. The smaller, more personal commissions helped him float between the occasional big commissions from actual companies. His musical writing skills tended to get looked over more than his other talents as most people looked for someone that could compose the whole song rather than just write the lyrics for it, but he did get some musical creators that wanted his help from time to time, mainly those types that hadn't found a label yet or didn't want to find one.

He spent a good three hours finishing up a picture of the all the characters from Team Fortress 2 going at it that someone had commissioned him for from Deviant Art. When he finally finished it he put his little signature in the corner, saved it multiple times (he didn't even want to think about having to do all that work again) and closed the program. Stretching back in his chair until his back popped he looked at the time in the corner of his screen.

"Ten-fifty-three...I guess I'll close up shop for tonight. I'll check the details on the pic again tomorrow and send it to her if there isn't anything I want to change."

Reaching down under his desk he was about to press the P.C.'s power button when a noise from his speakers got his attention. It sounded like some kind of static. Looking up he saw that his monitor was glitching slightly, lines appearing and disappearing at random and blocks of data doing the same.

"The hell?"

Before he could try and see what was happening to his computer he heard his phone going mad in the other room. It sounded like it was switching though all the noises it had programmed into it at random, at varying volume levels as well.

"Seriously, the fuck is going on?!"

Now getting scared he went to retrieve his phone when more noises joined the chorus. In random order anything electrical began to go off. His alarm clock blared, his 3DS seemed to come to life only to fizzle out and smoke, he could hear his microwave going off, and anything with electricity going through it that didn't make some kind of noise was doing whatever it did it's hardest, if it hadn't died like the 3DS.

"Shit, I need to get out of here!"

The cacophony of technology was growing louder as everything started to go more haywire, bigger things started to give out now under the pressure of whatever was happening. Running to the bedroom door Sidney was just opening it when a boom shot though the house, shaking him off his feet onto his back. Some how having managed to stay intact for this long the light bulb in the room that he was now starring at blew out, drenching the room in darkness. Scrambling to his feet his eyes were drawn to the one last source of light in the in the room, his computer screen. It was now truly beyond repair because the screen was flashing so fast with so many different kinds of random data that he knew even if he survived this ordeal that it wouldn't. The speakers were now blaring with the same static, almost screeching.

Not spending anymore time then he should he ran out the ajar door only to stop dead at the sight that waited for him in the living room.

"Oh god..."

Floating there was a white light emitting oval, with cracks around it's edge. It seemed to pulsate as it just stayed there, a hole in nothing that looked to lead to nothing as well. He could hear voices through it.

"Is this supposed to happen?"

"No!"

"But it's so shiny, it's like the greatest disco ball ever!"

"NOT NOW PINKIE!"

"Awwww..."

Before Sidney could even have another thought the light that came from the oval flickered before exploding outward, consuming everything around it.

Sidney was too confused and shocked to even scream, letting the light take him.

* * *

Sidney landed hard on the ground.

The first thing that his mind registered was that he felt very hot. The next was that it felt like there were holes in his cloths. The thing that he focused on when he heard it were voices.

"What in tarnation happened Twilight?!" Said some southerner girl if he had to guess.

"O-oh my, he looks like he was burned." This one was much softer, and probably talking about him.

"I-I-I-I just don't know WHAT went wrong!" What ever was happening must have been her fault then. The things he had to say to her.

"That's got'a be hard to admit for an egghead." He couldn't quite tell if this was a young boy or a tomboy.

"That poor mirror, it was such a beautiful piece." Sidney could tell that this one had their priorities straight.

"I can fix it, I always keep glue nearby for emergency just like this!" While he still had very little clue to what was going on he was pretty sure that glue wouldn't help a broken mirror.

Opening his eyes Sidney was greeted to the site of a blue ceiling. Sitting up the first substantial thing he saw was a busted out vanity mirror base with a bunch of techno looking bits attached to it. He could also see some of his stuff thrown about randomly on the floor.

"Um, excuse me, but are you hurt by any chance? If you don't mind me asking."

Turning his head towards the soft voice his reply died on his tongue at what he saw. A yellow pony with wings staring at him worriedly with huge soulful eyes. Behind it were more colorful equines that were now looking at him as well with a number of different expressions. There was another winged pony that was making use of it's appendages and floating in the air as it stared at him, eyes half lidded in boredom. Next to her on the ground was a pink pony that was trying to bounce in excitement towards him, but was stuck to the ground with glue from a glue bottle that was somehow stuck in her hair. To her left was a white pony with a horn looking at him just as worriedly as the yellow one. To the white ones right was a purple pony that had both wings and a horn, looking as though she was on the verge of a full blown panic attack. The last one of the group was fairly normal looking orange pony wearing a cowboy hat, looking at him as if she were having just as much of a hard time as him figuring things out at the moment.

"Guh."

Fluttershy wasn't sure if that was a reply or a sound of surprise that came out of the agape human, but she didn't have to think about it long as he passed out immediately after.


	2. Clean Up

After the unnamed human had passed out the hysteria that had been calmed by everypony staring at him started again.

"Oh no, he must be hurt worse than I thought!" Said Fluttershy as she fretted over the man, looking him over and trying to see how she could help.

"He looks fine, or at least he doesn't look burnt like all this other weird stuff that came with him. Just probably a big baby." Rainbow Dash commented as she poked some strange red thing with two screens on it and some buttons.

"Why would anypony need TWO screens anyway..."

Rarity passed by Rainbow over to where Fluttershy was looking at the humans torso carefully, having removed his shirt to do so. Rarity picked up the patchily burnt fabric in her magic and unfolded it so she could see it fully.

"While I agree with Rainbow that he appears fine I must say that his clothes didn't fair as well. But on closer inspection it might have been for the best I dare say. I understand that humans where cloths all the time, but even casual clothing shouldn't be so...bland."

"Honestly Rares, just 'cus the poor fella ain't burnt don't mean he ain't hurt some other way. So stop worrin' about that darn shirt and help me start moving him to a guest room. That is, if you don't mind none Twilight."

Twilight was still a little behind with situation has her mind processed everything that just happened. She shook her head and took a double take, looking at Applejack when she seemed to get a handle on the current going ons.

"Oh, go right ahead. I don't mind at all. It would be a lot better for us to try and look after him than the hospital anyway. I can use my, admittedly criminally low, knowledge to make sure he's okay to much better effect than the doctors educated guesses could. Plus I'm sure Fluttershy's input will be very helpful as well."

"ANNNNND I can throw him a party anytime I want here, unlike up there at the hospital with those grumpy grumps that don't know that parties are the best medicine ever since parties always have a bunch of laughter which I heard is the best medicine, so of course that's why parties are the best medicine ever which is why as soon as he wakes up-mph!"

Applejack kept her hoof firmly in Pinkie's mouth as she spoke.

"Sorry to say this Pinkie, but ya can't throw a party at a hospital for a good reason. Your kind of parties aren't exactly for the quieter folks, and since ill ponies need the quiet to help get better that's why you can't throw parties at the hospital, or for our friend over there RIGHT after he wakes up."

Pinkie seemed to literally deflate a bit, a muffled awww escaping from her hoof stuffed mouth. Taking her hoof back and giving it a few quick flicks to get rid of the bits of glue and spit that had stuck to it, Applejack gave her energetic friend a smile and walked over to where the human was laid out, calling back to the other two.

"I'm gonna go ahead and move this big lug to a guest room."

Twilight nodded at her with a smile and was about to start working on figuring out what had gone wrong when Pinkie spoke up again.

"And I had a super special "Welcome to Equestria Party" planned for him..."

Twilight gave her a warm smile as she flared up her horn and removed all the glue from Pinkie's hair. With practiced skill she got all the glue back in it's bottle without so much a drop being missed, capped it, and set down at Pinkie's hooves.

"Don't worry Pinkie, as soon as he's up and about you can throw him a huge party right here in the castle. But ONLY after he's feeling better, understood?"

Perking back up Pinkie saluted with a huge grin.

"Good, now if you'll excuse me I have research to do."

"But don't ya wanna stick around and talk to him when wakes up Twi?"

"I do Pinkie, it's always exciting to meet new people, but I'd rather not see him not only after I've accidentally ripped him from his own world, but also with the news that I have absolutely no Idea how to get him back. Trust me when I say that just because humans can't fly, use magic, or are not even as strong as earth ponies that they are not things to take lightly. And while I'm sure our new friend will be an understanding gentleman, you know I never like leaving anything up for chance. So I need to get started now so I'll be ready with a way back for him by the time he wakes up."

"Oh, well I guess that makes sense. But if he gets all grumpity grump just let me at him. I'll have that frown upside down in no time!"

Twilight giggled as Pinkie broke physics rather than her neck, turning her head upside down to give a literal take on the old phrase. Shaking her head in bemusement, having come to accept that she would never know how Pinkie could do these things Twilight began to walk off.

"I'm sure you could Pinkie."

As Twilight disappeared into the depths of her castle and Pinkie tried to get over the dizziness of spinning her head around a small train of ponies with the man on top walked slowly by. At the head of the line was Fluttershy, holding up the guys head, Applejack behind her supporting the guys middle, Rarity at the back holding him up by his legs using her magic, and Rainbow floating behind them all holding onto his shirt.

"Oh, please be careful girls, I know he's a bit on the heavier side but until I've made completely sure that he's alright I don't want to take the chance of rattling anything."

"Flutters, I don't mean to be rude here but this pardner ain't exactly lite, so 'scuse me if I ain't the steadiest thing right now."

"I'm inclined to agree Fluttershy darling, we can't do much more than keep him from dragging across the ground seeing as he's of the...heftier type."

"Hefty? This guys straight up huge! I mean sure he still probably isn't the fattest I've ever seen but-" WHAP! "-OUCH! What the hay was that for?!"

The newspaper was laid back on the table it had been retrieved from, being released from the blue tinted magic as Rarity turned to face forward again, nose held up high.

"Honestly Rainbow, could you not be so mean spirited? Just because one isn't as physically fit as you doesn't mean you need to go insulting them."

" 'Specially when they're out cold and can't defend themselves." Applejack chimed in.

Rainbow fell to the ground in shock, landing on her back.

"But I, I mean that's, I-I-I."

Giving her head a sharp shake Rainbow got to her hooves and quickly caught up with the others.

"That's NOT what I meant! You can't not say that he's fat, not hefty, not hardy, but FAT! You know I don't care one way or another as long as somepony isn't a slob, but come ON! He's fat and you can't say otherwise."

With a sigh Rarity went from nose held high to head hung low, a bit of sweat dripping from her brow.

"While I wouldn't put it so bluntly, I suppose I can't deny the truth."

"Exactly, guys fat and that's that!"

"Being a little fat isn't all that bad, if you don't mind me saying."

Fluttershy had been focused on keeping the man's head leveled evenly, but had been paying attention to her friends conversation and had decided then to join in it.

"Oh not you too Fluttershy. I never said it was! I was just stating facts okay? I don't have any problem with ponies, erm, people who like to eat more. I mean heck, I can't say I wouldn't be bigger myself if I wasn't the super athlete that I am. There is some really good food out there, like-"

"Like my super amazing hot sauce marzipan muffins?!"

"DAHHH!"

Rainbow was back in the air, Pinkie having jumped right into her face from out of no where.

"Don't do that Pinkie! You nearly gave me a heart attack!"

"HAHA *Snort* he~, Sorry Dashie, I didn't mean to scare you. I was just wondering what you girls were talking about and I heard you talking about foods you like so I just had to find out what you thought about those hot sauce marzipan muffins I-"

"Hey Pinkie?" Called Applejack, her and the other two girls having stopped as well.

"Yes Jackie-Jack?"

"I don't want to come off sounding like I can't carry around heavy loads on my own, but considering we have be real careful with this here load and get him across nearly the whole darn castle, would you and miss Exerciser Elitist mind helping us carry him?"

"Of course I'll help, but I want to meet this Elitist pony as soon as we're done so I can be their friend 'cus I know I haven't meet any new ponies coming into town recently going by that name and you know I always remember all my friends names."

Applejack gave her a wary smile as Pinkie hopped over and took a place under the man's legs, allowing Rarity to ease up a bit and relax, while Rainbow groaned now that she knew that she wasn't gonna get over this one anytime soon and flew over the guy, awkwardly grabbing him by his shoulders to alleviate the weight a little on the two ponies holding up his front end. With that they moved towards a hallway that would lead them to the guest quarters, trying to move as fast as the ever worried Fluttershy would allow them.

* * *

"That's not right either!"

A ball of paper was thrown as hard as possible against a wall to just fall harmlessly into a pile of it's comrades.

"I have been at this for HOURS and still have nothing on how I can get the subject home!"

With that exclamation Twilight thunked her head against her drafting desk, more paper balls falling to the ground.

It was afternoon now, the sun starting it's journey downward. In the time to now from when the mirror exploded Twilight had been here, having reasonably thought that while she wouldn't have it fixed that she would at least know how to fix it. The ever growing army of wadded parchment said otherwise, each being a different idea that ultimately got rejected. In this time Twilight had gone into full on science mode, only breaking from her research when one of her friends came by to say goodbye before they left, and when Spike got back from the local hoofball game that him and Big Macintosh had gone to see. Having been updated on what had happened he had gone to help the last of their friends still in the castle, Fluttershy, with watching over the human.

Pulling her face up and looking at her desk that was stained with many ink spills and still covered in crumpled notes she grumbled.

"I have gone through one-hundred and twenty-eight different possible reasons the denominational sifter could have misaligned, but none of them make any sense. The only thing I could figure out was that the reason the subject wasn't burnt like everything else that had come through the portal with him was that only organic material could pass through it in the state it was in, but Celestia help me if that helps get him back home!"

Rubbing her eyes Twilight took another look at the mountains of her mistakes before huffing and standing up fast enough to knock even more paper wads down, walking to the door.

"I need coffee."

But before she could get to the door a knock came from it, followed by it opening and Spike poking his head in.

"Oh, hey Twilight. Didn't expect you to be away from your desk."

Twilight let out a long deep sigh.

"I didn't expect to be sitting in front of it for so long without making a lick of progress."

Stepping into the room proper Spike shuffled his feet a bit, looking a bit awkward.

"I'm sure you'll get it Twi, you're always good with the techno-magic stuff. But there's something I need to tell you."

"What is it Spike?"

"Well, you know how you said you wanted to have some answers ready for the guy before he woke back up?"

Twilight didn't like where this was going.

"Yes?"

"Um, he's awake. But all he was doing when I left to get you was staring at Fluttershy, mouth open and not saying a thing."

Staring at Spike for an uncomfortably long time with a face that of pure stone, Twilight finally just fell back into a sitting position and let out an even greater sigh than before.

"Spike?"

"Yeah Twilight?"

"While I go to talk with the sub-I mean with the human could you please get me a pot of coffee and our biggest cup?"


	3. An Angry Bear

Sidney stood on the edge of an endless void, a thin gray line being the only thing to define where a black pit separated from the black floor he stood on. He knew from somewhere deep in his soul that something was waiting for him in the darkness, waiting for him to look over the edge and acknowledge it's existence, and he knew that it wanted nothing more than to hurt him. If this was a normal situation he would have already pulled out the pocket knife he normally carries with him or have just turned and walked the other way. Considering that for some reason he only had sweat pants with no pockets on and that for some reason he was in black nothingness he went with option C: Look over the edge and hope he could negotiate with whatever was there. With a last ineffective calming breath he got on his knees, grabbed the edge defined only by the line, and looked over it.

"Hey there young fella, you look like you could use a snack."

Sidney screamed in absolute horror as none other than Twinkie the Kid pulled himself over the edge and stood at his full height, towering over Sidney like some strange yellow spongy skyscraper.

"What's the matter? Don't a BIG fella like you like twinkies?'

Memories beat around Sidney's head of others that emphasized the word big when they talked to him, and of all the teasing jokes about fat people loving-

"Here, have a twinkie."

Broken from his daze Sidney realized that Twinkie had materialized a much smaller one of himself right in front of him. Without anymore pause Sidney took the action that he should have taken from the second that he saw the cream filled being.

He scrambled to his feet, yelled "FUCK YOU, YOU GHOSTBUSTERS AUDITIONS REJECT!", and ran faster than he had ever ran in his life to the opposite direction of the monster.

Twinkie laughed like a demonic Santa Claus and began to walk, his giant stature making it unnecessary to go any faster.

"Now why are you doing that when you can just sit around eating twinkies?"

Sidney felt more prominently than ever his exposed stomach bounce as he ran. It was like it was made out of jello. He also felt more tired than he should have been for running just a few minutes, sweat pouring from his body and soaking his pants. These things as distracting as they were, were not his main concern at the moment, that being the thing he looked behind him at.

To his terror Twinkie was gaining what little ground he had managed to cover and getting closer. As the giants steps came right behind the him it spoke again, now sounding more demon like, unnaturally deep and double layered.

_**"Why don't you have a Twinkie?"**_

And with that it stopped walking and instead let itself fall forward. At the sight of the giant yellow brick rapidly falling Sidney tried to push himself even harder, but instead ended up tripping and falling face forward. Cursing all the while he tried to get up only to find that the monsters face was right above him, ready to crush him.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

* * *

Sidney sat ramrod straight in his bed, breathing heavily. He could feel sweat on his forehead, though it didn't cover him like it had in the nightmare. He was however only wearing pants.

"Jesus, I haven't had a nightmare like that since I was a kid..."

With that finale thought he decided it was probably time to get up and greet the day.

"Wait, what?"

He was just coming to see that he wasn't in his room. He was in a weird blue and purple room in a bed not his own. The room seemed rather ornate to be so small, the ceiling not being all that high and the doors that lead to a balcony, through which he could see that it was late afternoon, not being all that big. It looked to him like someone had wanted to make a regular old bedroom look grander than it was.

"How the he-"

He shut up instantly when he remembered. Everything in his house going crazy, the white oval thing, the ponies. If he hadn't just woken up from a nightmare and he was in a room not only not his but also matching the atheistic of what he remembered from earlier, then he would have just brushed it off as a dream.

"Oh no..."

Before he could even be allowed to start putting all the pieces together into some kind of recognizable picture the bedroom door opened and in came walking the yellow pony, holding a small bag with a red cross on it in her wings and with her a little lizard thing holding a small tray with a pitcher and a clear glass on it in his claws, the two talking to each other.

"Thank you again so much for all your help Spike."

"Aw it's nothing, you know I love helping out."

Facing forward the pony squeaked and fell to her behind and dropping her bag, seeing Sidney sitting up staring at them both. The lizard thing now named Spike presumably saw him too, but instead of being spooked he put on a warm smile, walking over and putting his tray on the bedside table, then turning and holding out a claw to the man.

"Hey, nice to meet you. My names Spike, welcome to Equestria!"

Sidney just continued to stare at him, his breathing being the only thing to prove he was still alive with how deathly still and silent he remained. Spike's smile became awkward, shaking his claw a little for emphasis on what he was expecting. It still was just left there to hang. With a huff he took back his arm, turned around, and began walking.

"I'm gonna go get Twilight, do you think you'll be alright looking after him until we get back Fluttershy?"

The pony now named Fluttershy nodded slowly, not taking her eyes off Sidney. She seemed almost to be transfixed in shock by the way he just looked at her, his mouth just the barest of a slit open. Spike sighed and walked out, wanting to get Twilight hopping that she'll know what to do. When he slammed the door behind him Fluttershy jumped a little at the noise, seeming to come to her senses. Still looking at Sidney, now with less fear and more worry at his absolute lack of reaction, she got back on her hooves and picked up her medical bag.

"Um...Hello. My names Fluttershy. It's um...very nice to meet you."

She tilted her head, looking concerned and confused at his unchanging face. Unbeknownst to her there was major work going on inside Sidney's mind.

("...I'm actually here. I'm in some weird pony world. Where the ponies can talk. And are pegasus. And are unicorns. And are both. And are cowgirls. Ponygirls? Whatever, doesn't matter. I'M IN ANOTHER WORLD!")

Fluttershy's worry only grew as Sidney slowly laid back down, now looking at the ceiling.

("I just...what do I even do? Am i stuck here? Did something in my apartment explode and hit me in the head? Just what the fuck do I even DO?!")

Seeing as he didn't move anymore, Fluttershy decided to try and take the chance to get a little closer. She stopped when he reached his hands up over his head, grabbed his pillow and took out from under his head then put it on his face. Now more confused than before she cut to the chase and just asked.

"If you don't mind me asking, what are-"

She nearly jumped out of her skin when Sidney started yelling under the pillow. She thought she could hear some kind of language between the screams, having no idea what a "Truck" was. When he was done he put the pillow on his lap and let it lay there. His face now had an emotion on it, annoyance. Letting out a sigh he turned his head and looked at Fluttershy, getting a small stab in the heart at seeing her shake wide eyed.

("Damn it, I didn't think it would scare her like that. I don't need scary yeller being my name here.")

Sighing, he sat up and turned his body to face her, crossing his legs. Suddenly remembering he wasn't wearing a shirt he felt really uncomfortable with his stomach hanging out so he pulled the blanket up under his arms. Looking back at Fluttershy he just stared again, not sure what to say. With another sigh of frustration he just said the simplest thing he could think of.

"Um...Hi. My names Sidney. Sidney Wilson."

Fluttershy stopped shivering but still kept quiet.

"I just uh...wanted to say sorry for scaring you. This is all very...disconcerting and screaming helps me to feel better. That's why I put the pillow on my face first, to muffle it. But I guess that really wasn't enough. Sorry."

Sidney rubbed his side, feeling really awkward. Fluttershy thankfully took this chance to try talking again.

"I-it's alr-right, really. I can understand being frustrated, I was just really surprised is all."

Fluttershy looked to get more comfortable. Now that he was finally talking she didn't feel as put off as before. She just hoped he doesn't scream like that anymore.

"Again, sorry. So...you said your name was Fluttershy?"

She nodded with a small smile.

"Cool, It's very nice to meet you too."

While it was just polite filler to him Fluttershy seemed to take it very well. With most of her nervousness gone she started to slip back into nurse mode.

"If you don't mind, I'd like to look you over. When you came through the portal a lot of other stuff came through too, and most of it was burnt. While I couldn't find any burns on you, you did have a couple cuts and bruises, and now that you're awake I can ask you questions while I work. I've never helped a human before, so I'm really excited to learn."

Sidney felt a little better now. The quiet excitement radiating off the admittedly adorable pony lifted his mood a fair bit. But he still had a lot of questions, and the idea that she was going to be examining him was contradicting with the good mood that had started to build.

"Um...Miss Shy, just how closely are you going to be looking me over?"

Fluttershy, medical bag in mouth, flapped her wings twice and landed right next to the wide eyed human. Not noticing his amazement at her casual flight she dropped the bag to the bed.

"Oh please just call me Fluttershy, all my friends do. Well except Pinkie sometimes. She likes to give everypony a bunch of nicknames. But as for my examination, I just want to check to make sure nothings hurting and get some information ready encase there's an emergency. We're hoping to get you back home soon, but I just want to be ready."

She dipped her head a little, hiding behind her mane, a blush clear across her face.

"While I'd really rather have all the information I can get, if you feel uncomfortable about me looking at your *Gulp*...[size=0.75em]private parts[/size]...I can skip over that part if you want."

Fluttershy had been using the thought that the man was like one of her animals to help calm her down. He was so different from just about anything else she had seen, even if Twilight's description of humans had given her some what of a picture, that it wasn't hard to make the connection. But unlike with her animal friends he could talk, and obviously had a idea of modesty, making it harder to just think of looking at him DOWN THERE strictly clinical.

Sidney for his part acted rather calmly, given the situation and how he was feeling.

"Fluttershy, I'm going to be a little blunt. I was just sucked through a portal violently to another world full of talking ponies, and a lizard thing. I don't even know why I'm so calm right now. Most other people would be freaking out. Maybe I'm just so shocked that I've gone full circle back to calm, I don't know. The point is that while I don't want to offend you, I also really, REALLY don't want a person I just met that's from another world looking at me in my genitals. I'll go through the rest of the examination though."

The idea that she would be scrutinizing his body for medical reasons was the far lesser evil of having her look at his junk, and so choose to just get over it and let her examine him. Though it seemed at the moment that Fluttershy was more worried about something else he said.

"Oh nononono, I'm not offend at all. I completely understand being very shy about being so open with a complete stranger. Especially with something so...private."

Sidney raised a well practiced eye brow at this.

"Really now? I don't want to sound...speciest or whatever you might call it, but you don't wear cloths from what I've seen. I wouldn't have thought you'd care about decency honestly."

Fluttershy was now digging through that bag of hers, pulling out a stethoscope and some kind of cream in a bottle.

"It's true we don't really wear clothes unless it's for a special occasion, but that doesn't mean we don't have any decency. It's just that ponies are kinda built to make it so that we're already decent. Plus we're taught when we're foals just how rude it is to be even looking there to begin with."

"Makes sense I guess. Uhhh, you want to get started then?"

Nodding Fluttershy then stood on her back hooves and put her fore hooves on Sidney's shoulders to gently push him on his back. The sudden contact gave the man a mini heart attack, but didn't let it show. He still wasn't really liking the idea of her looking at him period, or the fact that any of this was real and it was really starting to put him on edge. But he wasn't gonna take it out on the poor girl. He had been in many other, though by far less in comparison, confusing and embarrassing situations and had always kept to two rules.

One, know who to blame. Throwing around blame randomly was never a good idea.

Second, keep your temper and manners. This was a rule that Sidney had a lot of trouble with. There's only so much teasing one could take before they had enough. This is why he had these rule to begin with, to try and help him with his anger management.

The first rule was the one he was exercising now. He knew that the pony who had taken the blanket off of him and was checking his heart right just wasn't the one that needed to be on the receiving side of a verbal beating. That was reserved for whatever jack-hole got him here-

"Oh my, your heart rate is really high. Is something the matter?"

"Huh? My heart rate...? Oh, um yeah. It's just that getting a physical exam from a pony is...different. I can't help feeling, for lack of a better term, anxious."

His heart nearly stopped altogether when she gave him a soft smile.

("And I thought Sackboy was weaponized adorableness.")

"I know having somepony you don't know looking at you and prodding you can be really scary. Goodness me if I wasn't terrified the first time I went for an examination."

With a small nod and weak smile from Sidney she went back to checking him over. She worked simply and efficiently, checking his breathing, blood pressure, for any bruises or cuts she might have missed before, and reapplying the cream that she had apparently used on the wounds she had found. From what she told him the cream was a special medical mix that was safe to use for just about every species. It kept open wounds from getting infected and helped to keep pain away. It wasn't long until she was done and packing her stuff back up.

Sitting back up, blanket wrapped around him again, Sidney took this chance to ask a question.

"So~ I think I've got my head around this all a little more, would you mind if I asked a few questions?"

Fluttershy snapped her bad shut and turned around to face him.

"I wouldn't mind at all. What do you want to know?"

"Well, I guess I'll start with the obvious. Just where is "here"?"

"Oh that's very simple. Like Spike said earlier you're in Equestria, the country ruled in perfect harmony by the royal sisters Princess Celestia and Princess Luna. More specifically you're in my friend's, Twilight Sparkle, castle. It sits just outside of Ponyville next to this beautiful waterfall. You can actually see it if you go out to the balcony."

Sidney stayed silent for a few seconds.

("That...just raised more questions.")

"Okay, well then how did I get here?"

At this Fluttershy looked herself behind her mane again, her voice barely above a nervous whisper.

"Um, well you see about that...[size=0.75em]I really don't know[/size]."

Sidney leaned in a little.

"I'm sorry could you say that again?"

"EEP!...I said, I really don't know."

He sat straight up again.

"...You don't know?" His voice coming out deadpan.

Still behind her mane Fluttershy nodded solemnly.

Fluttershy waited behind her wall of pink for Sidney to do something. When nothing happened she peeked around her hair. He was just sitting there, his mouth pulled taught in the ever so slightest of a frown, eyes closed. Before she could venture asking him if he would be alright he very suddenly stood up, elating an eep from the pegasus, grabbed a pillow, walked over to and out the balcony doors. Fluttershy just watched in confusion from the bed as he closed the doors behind him.

*Click*

*Poomf"

"FUCKING HORSE ASS BITCHES 'NOTHER UNIVERSE CRAP! HOW THE SHIT ON A STICK DO THEY NOT KNOW HOW I ENDED UP HERE WHEN IT'S THEIR FUCKING FAULTS THAT I'M IN THIS BACKWARDS ASS MYTHICAL FUCKNESS?!" Came the muffled yelling.

With a grunt he threw the pillow from his face to the ground and began to stomp on it, twisting his heel into it and jumping on it. Then he kicked it up in the air so he could grab it with his left hand, holding it up as he punched it with his right. Feathers floated in the afternoons light as they were forcefully dislodged from their container. When at last he showed the mangled pillow mercy he let it drop to the ground, with him following suit.

He slouched himself against the door frame, laying his arms on his crossed legs. Tears were at the edges of his eyes.

"What am I supposed to do now?"

His voice was hoarse. Emotions were at an complete war within him, confusion, anger, sadness all taking great leaps and bounds in the fight. What little comfort he had managed to build before had crumbled under the mere idea that he could be stuck here. Having always been taught to look on the bright side he had just let it sate him that these creatures seemed friendly, the small grace not being enough to help him through this revelation.

He was broken from his thoughts by the door opening. Looking over he saw Fluttershy looking at him with worry and fear. Still running high on emotion instead of taking pause like he would normally when someone looked at him like this, he just tried not to glare, to little success.

"A-are y-y-you alright?"

It was clear that something greater than her fear was pushing her to check on his well being, his episode having renewed her previous fears.

"No, not like it really matters though."

With a shaky hoof she got a little closer.

"What d-do you mean?"

Sneering Sidney looked away to the waterfall he could see from their perch.

"I mean it doesn't matter how I feel. I'm stuck here if I like or not."

Getting a little bolder, Fluttershy went and stood right next to him.

"That's not necessarily true. I might not know how you got here, but my friend Twilight is looking into the matter as we talk."

"Meaning she doesn't know either, right?"

Noticing the liquid threatening to spill from his eyes Fluttershy felt her heat shift. Now any and all fear left her as she could plainly see the hurt behind the anger. She went to try and place a comforting hoof on his shoulder, but he just flinched his arm away. Putting her hoof back down she instead decided to sit down.

"Right now she doesn't, but she will. She's a very smart pony."

"And that's obviously why I'm here huh? Because from what little I can remember there was quite a bit of broken equipment laying everywhere around the nearly burnt man. I'm sure that really could have only been the work of a true genius!"

Now it was Fluttershy's turn to get a bit mad.

"Now that's no way to talk about others. I understand that this is all rather distressing, but-"

"DISTRESSING?!"

Fluttershy flinched her head back when Sidney stood up to make his proclamation.

"I'm in another world with talking ponies that have wings, horns, or both and apparently was nearly killed during the trip, AND no one knows how it even happened! I don't even know if it would be worse if this was real or me going crazy! That's more than just distressing, it's down right insane, MADDING!"

He turned away, placing both his hands on the railing and wrenching his eyes closed which forced his tears to finally fall. He could feel primal instincts wanting him to take some kind of action, ANY action, but he simply didn't know what to do. Fluttershy stood up, not moving from where she now stood.

"We ARE trying to help. I know this is hard, but I can promise, as I know my friends would too, that we are going to help you get back home."

Fluttershy flapped her wings to help reach up to his shoulders and quickly wrapped him in a hug. He jolted but did not resist, at least physically. His anger told him to shove her away, to yell at her some more. His confusion was fueled by the the unfamiliar feeling of her fore legs. His sadness was fed by more thoughts of possibly never seeing his home, his friends, or his family again. But in his cross fire of emotions a new one came forth.

It was a feeling that he hadn't felt in a long time. The warmth of anothers concern. It wasn't that there no one who cared about him, but it had been a while since he had been with any of them. He could feel the tension leaving his body slowly, the simple contact helping to soothe his pain. It was quiet for a long time, with Fluttershy just hugging him from behind the whole time and him just holding onto the railing, eyes remaining closed until he spoke.

"...I'm sorry. As confusing and stressful this is, you haven't shown me the least bit of malice. I had no right to snap at you."

Letting go and landing next to him on the ground Fluttershy looked up with a big smile.

"It's alright. Like I said I know what it's like to lose your temper and do things that you really don't mean. If I have to be honest you reminded me of some of the bears I take care of when they get grumpy"

Sidney gave his first smile since getting here. The thought of this timid little pony losing her temper or dealing with bears seemed funny to him, but considering his current situation he wouldn't doubt it to be true either.

"Still, I'm sorry."

"Apology accepted."

Giving each other a quick smile Sidney turned to go back inside and start figuring out where to go from there when he noticed the mess he had made.

"I guess i should also say sorry about the pillow..."

Looking around at the feathers Fluttershy just shook her head.

"It fine, there's plenty more like them. I think Twilight will understand."

Sidney kneeled down and began collecting feathers in his hands.

"Well, I should at least clean this up."

Before anything else could happen the door to the bedroom opened. Looking up Sidney saw the purple pony along with the liz-SPIKE looking at him, eyes wide and pupils small. Their eyes shifted between the feathers on the ground, to the ones in his hand, to looking around the room for something, to his face. By the time her eyes had landed back on Sidney they had narrowed significantly. Her head had lowered, wings spread wide, and her horn was glowing with a twitching lavender power.

"_**What did you do to Fluttershy?!**_"


	4. He gets hit in the stomach in this one

("OH FUCK WHAT IS SHE DOING?!")

Sidney dared not move a muscle as he looked at the strangely terrifying little equine with eyes almost as big as hers. He could see in his peripheral vision Fluttershy about to move, probably wanting to see what was going on as she was just to the side of the balcony and couldn't see through the door, but a low growl froze her in place.

"I said, WHAT DID YOU DO TO FLUTTERSHY?!"

Snapping his eyes back on to the purple pony Sidney threw out something to say.

"I didn't do anything to her!"

The glow coming off her horn went brighter.

"Then explain those feathers!"

Brain already having been in overdrive he quickly understood where this misunderstanding came from.

"It's from a pillow I punched!"

The next thing to happen would likely be captured in his mind for a very long time. Fluttershy having realized that it was just her concerned friend was at the edge of the door at the same time as Twilight launched a powerful beam of magic at Sidney, Twilight having been pushed over the limit of her tolerance. More adrenaline pumping through him than he thought possible Sidney could see so many little details as he went to shove Fluttershy out of the way. He saw the huge beam of purple stuff shooting from the angry unicorn, Spike standing a little ways behind her and shielding his eyes, Fluttershy's shocked face, and a few feathers that had gotten swept into the air.

Time seemed to flow normally again for him when the beam hit him square in the stomach. Instead of being disintegrated or being pushed over the railing by its force or even having a hole blasted straight through him, he was instead pushed back about half a foot, landing promptly on his rump with a plop and a grunt. His stomach wobbled a bit and had a nice big bruise, but other wise he wasn't harmed from what he could tell.

"Shit~..."

Holding on to his belly Sidney just sat there and waited for the pain to subside before he tried moving again. Fluttershy was on her backside stunned, legs hanging in the air. When she seemed to get a hold of herself and looked around she immediately noticed Sidney had been hit. Getting up as fast as she could she crossed the short distance he had been thrown and started to look him over frantically.

"Oh dear, are you all right?" She asked in as loud and panicked a voice she could muster, looking very closely at the large nearly perfectly circular blackish purple mark that had formed on his belly.

"Yeah, I'll be fine. It'll probably sting for a while but I don't think it really did all that much dam-"

"FLUTTERSHY!"

The timid pegasus squeaked as she was brought into a tight hug from behind, Twilight nuzzling her cheek. Spinning Fluttershy around to face her Twilight started rapid firing questions at her.

"Are you alright? Did he hurt you? Why were you on the balcony? Where did all these feathers come from? How-MMPH!"

A claw quickly clamped over Twilight's muzzle, Spike looking at the dazed mare in Twilight's hooves with worry.

"I think YOU'RE gonna end up hurting her if you keep it up Twi."

After Spike let her mouth go Twilight noticed just how Fluttershy looked much like she did when Luna had hugged her that one Nightmare Night. When Twilight let go of her Fluttershy wobbled on her hooves a bit, making Twilight blush and look away, tapping her hooves together.

"I'm sorry Fluttershy, I was just so worried."

Shaking her head to clear it of the birds she swore were twirling around it Fluttershy put on a gentle smile.

"It's okay Twilight, I'm fine, but I think you need to apologize to someone else as well."

Fluttershy side stepped, allowing Twilight to see Sidney still sitting on the ground, now having crossed his legs, gawking at just how big of a bruise he had gotten. When Twilight saw it she cringed. She had only wanted to have him know she was serious, but now that she knew Fluttershy was apparently okay with him she felt terrible for hurting him like that.

"OHMYGOSH, I'm so sorry! I thought you had hurt Fluttershy and when I saw all the feathers and when you said you punched a pillow I thought that just seemed ridiculous and that made me even madder that you were lying to me, which of course you weren't, so I decided to hit you with magic in my anger. Not enough to do any permanent harm mind you but enough to hurt, AND I'M REALLY REALLY SO-"

For the second time Twilight was stopped mid-sentence, this time by Sidney raising his in the near universal stop motion. Closing his eyes and taking a few deep breaths before speaking he leveled a deadpan stare at the purple pony.

"Obviously I'm new here and there's still a lot of things I don't know, but I think I can still match colors correctly. Unless I'm missing something wouldn't those feathers be yellow if I had attacked her?"

Twilight's eyes went downcast and her blush deepened, obviously just as sorry as she was embarrassed. Sidney sighed, cursing at himself for jabbing at the pony for what was just a big mistake. Again the idea of not being branded poorly for whatever amount of time he'd have to be spending here was not appealing and just forced past his anger for peace's sake, much like for his sanity's sake he has been sticking to straight to the point questions instead of the many that has built up in him since being here.

"Anyway, now that it's decided that the worst crime I've committed was pillow murder of the highest degree I think some proper introductions are in order. My names Sidney, Sidney Wilson."

He held out a hand. Most of the red in her cheeks gone Twilight gave him a tiny smile and placed her hoof in his hand, letting him shake one good strong time.

"I'm Twilight Sparkle, Princess of Friendship, but Twilight's just fine."

The Princess of Friendship thing was yet another question to be left unasked. Letting go of her hoof Sidney spied the lizard known as Spike hanging around near the balcony doors. Deciding that it would only be fair to greet him properly as well he held his hand out again towards the little guy. Spike still a little unsure about the human walked over and hesitantly took his hand.

"Spike the dragon...baby dragon."

He said the last part with a small bit of detest.

After they shook Sidney stood up, wincing a little, and looked back at Twilight.

"So from what I've heard you're the one that might have some answers for me?"

Twilight nodded enthusiastically, a huge grin gracing her face. Information sharing was always an enjoyable experience for the littlest princess, no matter the situation.

"There's still somethings I need to look into, but I should be able to answer most of your questions."

"Cool, then I guess we should take this inside."

They all agreed on that and walked back into the room, where they all found places to sit. Now that things had calmed down somewhat Sidney grabbed his shirt. High emotions made Sidney's uncomfortableness with his body a secondary problem, but now took the the chance to immediately grab the burnt shirt from the side table and put it on, not caring of it's current condition as he sat on the bed with his legs over the edge. Fluttershy took a seat next to him as the only chair in the room had been taken by Twilight after she levitated it next to the bed. Spike despite having the option of sitting on the bed as well opted to stand up. With everyone settled Sidney looked to Twilight.

"So should we start the Q&amp;A?"

"Sure, ask anything you want and I'll answer to the best of my ability."

Nodding, Sidney contemplated where he should start.

"I'll start with the most important question first."

He leaned forward to put his elbows on his knees, his hands interlocking their fingers together, and his face trying to keep a look of neutral control but still betraying the hesitation he had.

"Is it possible for me to get back home?"

Sidney really didn't like how Twilight got really uncomfortable after he asked her, squirming in her seat and avoiding eye contact. He stayed quiet though and let her tell him whatever she had to tell him on her own time. After she did some kind of quick breathing exercise she had relaxed, if only a little, and met his gaze hesitantly.

"It's been about five hours since you came through the mirror that brought you here. I've been looking into what happened in that brief time in hopes of figuring out exactly what had caused such a great malfunction in an otherwise stable portal. I'm afraid that five hours is simply not enough time to do all the necessary research for such an endeavor. While I found some possibly promising information that may lead to a way to get you back home, it will take a good length of time and testing before I would feel confident sending you through any kind of portal, not to mention building a new one to begin with. I decided to approximate just how long it would take to get a new portal up and working. From what I could summarize it will take around nine months to build and test a new portal, if what I found earlier is useful."

Twilight took a breath as the weight of telling the man the news felt heavier than ever.

"But if it turns out what I found was has no real use I'll have to basically start from scratch with building a portal, which would increase the time it would take to get you back home to around...twelve to seventeen months."

Finishing her explanation Twilight watched Sidney carefully, waiting for him to say something. Sidney continued in his silence, his clasped hands tightening and his eyes narrowed at the ground. Fluttershy looked ready hug him at any moment now and Spike was twiddling his fingers awkwardly as he saw the tension rise. Not moving his eyes from the ground Sidney spoke.

"So you're saying that this...magic mirror is what brought me here, and that now that it's broken the least I can be expecting to stay here is nearly a year, while the most is over a year."

He never looked up as he spoke, his voice carrying a noticeable tremble and his hands looking as though they wanted to fuse together. Fluttershy took this as the time to actually hug him. She wrapped him around his waist from the side, not fully being able to reach all the way around him. He didn't respond to her comfort. Twilight let out a long sigh before she spoke again.

"Yes, as there is very little recorded data regarding multi-dimensional connection spells, those are the most minimal times possible."

The quiet that followed could have smothered. Fluttershy just hugged the now closed eyed Sidney tighter trying to her best to help him feel better. Twilight let him think, waiting again for him to respond. Spike took this chance to pour himself a glass of water, hoping to try and calm his own never like dealing with these kind of high tension situations. After this long pause Sidney broke the silence.

"Can I please be left alone for awhile? I need to...think."

It came out as low and emotionless. Fluttershy looked to Twilight unsure. Twilight just gave a small nod, which Fluttershy returned after looking at Sidney with worry and let him go.

"That's fine. If you need to talk to us just step outside and start yelling for one of us until come find you. It's a big castle and we really don't have an easier way to communicate between different parts of the castle yet. Oh! And also we're going to be having dinner soon. You're more than welcome to come join us."

Still not looking at her Sidney gave her an "Okay." and went quiet again. The non-bipeds of the room gave each other hesitant glances before getting up and making their way out, all of them giving him one last look before they went out the door. Twilight's was worriedly curious, Fluttershy's just plain worried, and Spike's unsure. After they had left Sidney stood up and began to pace around in a mindless pattern in the room.

("A year of my life is going to be here...")

He made many circles, fists clenching and unclenching.

("In "Equestria"...")

He could feel the air filter though the hole in his cloths as he walked, heading out on to the balcony, leaning out onto the railing much like he had earlier and stared out into the sky,sun slowly lowering as the night began to set in.

("...I'm going to be in a world of dragons, unicorns, pegasi, pegacorns, and the what the fuck ever else for a damned year of my life.")

Crossing his arms on the railing and letting his head drop onto them he just watched the stars start to decorate the the sky. He could feel his heart thumping in his chest. He felt the need to just go fucking ape shit on something, his head throbbing, and a heat washing over him. Standing up straight in a snap he slammed a fist on to the stone railing, ignoring the pain it sent through his arm all together as he did it again and again, small grunts escaping him. Despite his best primal efforts this only earned him a hurt hand with no damage to the stone. Giving up he just slouched to the ground let his legs dangle over the balcony through the railing.

He looked really paying attention, letting whatever he saw go in and out as he tried to quill the storm inside himself. Thoughts of what his sister would do, what would become of the his possessions that hadn't been destroyed, of all things he would have to learn here, of even the idea of being here at all wen though his mind. After what felt like hours of just thinking, switching between sitting and walking, and finding something else to hit, the emotions stopped. He didn't feel calm though, but rather just empty, drained.

Dragging himself over to the bed landed face first. He laid there for a long time completely unmoving, yet not sleeping. After a while the world started to go blurry, and he couldn't tell if it was him drifting into sleep or him crying, or maybe both.

("...at the least my DS could have survived...") Was his last thought before passing out.


End file.
